Find Me.

 

“The best thing in life is to hold onto each other.” -Audrey Hepburn

          Sunrise. Sunset. Pretty romantic, ey? That moment you lean further into someone. A wider some kind of wonderful. Because you want more than the narrow definition of intimacy, you want it all.

           Something I feel passionate about is connection. An honest connection where you can be the main character in your own story, you in the darkness and you in the light. And not having to apologize for either one.  Not having shame that your story is exactly what it appears. Because  there is someone out there. Someone who understands. And sometimes, all it’ll take is eye contact. With it, you’ll feel comfort inside. Because, you know you are not alone.

“You tried to hide between the lines.” -Lisa Loeb

“Just let it go. Why don’t you be you. And I’ll be me.” -James Bay.

It’s tough. I’ll admit it, to not default to hiding who I am.  A part of myself desires others to bond with the best version of myself.  I didn’t want people to see myself as a lesser version. With moments of reflection & discovery, I realized I’m not quite the best version of myself yet. BUT. I am pretty darn amazing. And I masked that for a version of myself I’m not & I regret it.  Because when I let go, I found honest connections. Those that’ll hold my hand. Because they understand.  For they connected with me in the darkness and me in the light.

How is this related to my Bucket List?

Answer:

“When you’re young, you just believe there’ll be many people with whom you’ll connect. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times.” -Before Sunset.

          I want that connection. To find someone who understands. To live my life & spontaneously meet a stranger who I’ll connect with. With a real, raw bond because it feels as though there’s a reason we met.

         To find someone like me, in the bad & the good & the humor, is something special. Something I believe to be magic. But, with age, I’ve accepted how this won’t swing by me often. It’s pretty rare.

        And when I find that person, I hope it’ll be amazing. To just look at him &  have it be enough. Because he’ll understand. Because there will be no mask. No better version of myself other than who I am.

Because I’ll be me and he’ll be him.

 .  .  .

A connection to not let go.

 

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